


The Man I Used To Be

by ItsCutterKirby



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Dream Smp, Facing your past, Gen, Post-Manberg-Pogtopia War on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Pre-Manberg-Pogtopia War on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Yelling, help I don't know what to tag, no caps tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:28:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28243185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsCutterKirby/pseuds/ItsCutterKirby
Summary: Wilbur is haunted by his past more than once. Sometimes more literally than he'd like.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	The Man I Used To Be

**Author's Note:**

> ahhhhhhh c!wilbur is a great character help  
> he might be a bit ooc bc at the time I wrote this I just wanted some good ol jekyll and hyde parallels

Wilbur Soot paces around the button room, having finished scrawling the last of the lyrics on the walls. Nearby, water drips from a web like crack in the ceiling. It sounds like a clock.

Any day now, they’d go and battle Schlatt to the death. Win or lose, Wilbur had already decided he was going to blow this entire place sky high. It was the only way.

“The only way…” he repeated. “I need to do this. I _need_ to do this. Killing the president won’t solve anything anymore."

L’Manberg is broken, and he’s going to fix it.

“No one else sees that this is the only way,” he continued. “I’m alone.” He stopped pacing. "I've always been."  
His ears started ringing. Voices whispered from the dark shadows of the cramped room. He clutched his head.  
He faced the button. He didn’t press it. Not yet. “I've _always_ been!"

“Are you sure?” One voice was louder than the others, silencing them all.

Wilbur turned looking for the source. No one was there.

Then, he noticed his reflection in the puddle wasn’t following him.

It wasn’t even wearing his current trenchcoat. Instead, it wore the familiar blue coat and stern expression of who he was. Who he should have been.  
“W-Wilbur?” he stammered. He fell to his knees to get a closer look.  
“Wilbur,” his reflection greeted curtly. “Do you really want to do this?”  
Wilbur shakily nodded. “Y-Yeah, I do. I _really_ do, I-I have to…”  
“Really?” the general sounded unimpressed.

The outcast continued nodding, his breathing uneven.  
“Because it sounds like, to me, that you’re jumping to conclusions about what this will solve.”  
“...What?”

“Think about it, and I know you haven’t. What will blowing the place up solve? You’ve seen their - _our_ determination to make this country happen, you think an explosion will prevent them from rebuilding? The only thing that would do is drive you further into madness, and where would you go after that? You’d either die or be imprisoned, what then? What are you trying to prove, Wilbur?”

“I’m trying to prove a point!” Wilbur shouted. “L’Manberg isn’t the same anymore and whoever ends up president isn’t going to solve anything! It’s lost everything that makes it L’Manberg, _and_ Manberg!”  
“So you’re just going to throw yourself away so nothing can change?”  
“If they can’t fix it then I’ll break it!” Wilbur hit the wall with his right hand. He couldn’t feel it. “Why are you lecturing me, anyway? You’re not even real!”  
The other Wilbur held his right hand. “Maybe I am. Maybe I’m not. That doesn’t change the fact you’re making a mistake.”

“You can’t stop me,” Wilbur’s voice is cold.

“I know,” his reflection sounded… sad. “I just wanted to tell you. Do what you want. Just know not everyone hates you.”

The reflection went back to normal.

Wilbur sat against the wall, holding his hand. It was starting to hurt. “Don’t listen to him…” he said. “I need to do this.”

He left the button room that day, vowing to return.

~

Ghostbur led Friend to the grass outside Techno’s house, patting the sheep’s head. “C’mon, Friend!” he said. “We have some free time before Tommy and Techno come back!”  
Ghostbur liked Friend. The sheep kept him company when no one else was nearby. He was also blue!  
The apparition held Friend’s lead as he grazed. Subconsciously, Ghostbur started humming the L’Manberg anthem.  
He likes hanging out with Techno and Tommy. It feels just like when they were kids.

He ties Friend to a fencepost and starts to head inside. Snow was starting to fall down and onto his face. Better be safe and head inside in case he gets stuck and melts.

His humming turns into singing as he enters the house. _“It’s a very big and not blown up L’Manberg.”_ He realizes the lyrics are rather ironic, seeing the country did blow up all by itself. Oh well.  
_“My L’Manberg… my L’Manberg…”_ He looks out the window at Friend. _“My L’Manberg,”_  
A new yet familiar voice joined him. _“My L’Ma-a-a-a-nberg.”_

Ghostbur looks for the voice, and, seeing no one, focuses on his reflection in the glass.

It’s wearing different clothes.

Ghostbur stumbles back. Instead of his yellow sweater, it’s clad in a trenchcoat. Its expression is also strange, more unfeeling than Ghostbur’s own. There’s an unsettling look in its eyes.

“You remember writing that song, right?” his reflection asks.  
Hesitantly, Ghostbur nods. “Yeah, it was a good memory.”

The other Wilbur smiles, though it isn’t a happy one. “It was, wasn’t it?” He sighs deeply. “Too bad the L’Manberg we made it for doesn’t exist anymore.”  
Ghostbur tilts his head. “I mean… it isn’t exactly the same… but it’s still there.” He’d had his doubts about Tubbo’s L’Manberg, but it wasn’t _too_ bad.

The reflection scoffs. “Right.” He puts his hand to the glass. “Do you know who I am, _Ghostbur?”_ He says the name almost condescendingly.

Ghostbur’s transparent eyes widen. “You’re Alivebur, aren’t you?”

Alivebur grins wider. “If that’s what you call me, sure.”

Ghostbur backs away. “No, no-! You’re dead, you’re gone! You can’t hurt them anymore!” His breath quickens. “I-I can’t be you again, I can’t _lose_ them again!”  
The villain starts tapping the glass. _“Wilbur,_ do you really think they’ll stay with you? They left me, after all.”  
Ghostbur’s shaking. “N-No, you’re _bad,_ I’m not- I’m trying to be better!” He starts inching towards the door.

“Will it work!?” Alivebur shouts. "Who says they're not going to leave you at the first chance they get?"  
He notices Ghostbur's hand on the doorknob. “You can’t run away from me, Wilbur! I’ll always be here!”

Ghostbur runs outside. He holds a slab over his head.  
He feels tears in his eyes. “No, we can’t have that,” he says. He pulls some blue from his pocket and holds it to his chest.

By the time Tommy and Techno return, Ghostbur is huddled next to Friend under a slab with more tears than his blue can hold.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks bye <3


End file.
